


Those Three

by willy-o-the-wisp (bluekupkakez)



Series: Black, Silver and White [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy AU, Hide gets trolled, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Porn With Feels, Threesome, headcanons, intersex!Uta, kuroneki with white hair, porn in chapters 3 and 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:21:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5352176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluekupkakez/pseuds/willy-o-the-wisp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>domestic YomoUtaKane ficlets/one-shots</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fridge

**Author's Note:**

> set after [**Speak in Tongues**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3542102) (but you don't need to read that pornific mammoth first to get what's going on here)
> 
> oh yeah and in this lil AU kaneki's hair turned white (and his nails black) when he became a half-ghoul
> 
> tags will be updated later on
> 
> collection suggested by xXOrchidChildXx and beta’d by penguins_shake_it. thanks guys! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji knows what he’s doing.

“Uhm…maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” said Ken, looking uncertainly at Renji. “I mean…shouldn’t we wait until Uta comes back? Won’t he mind if we do this?”

“No point in wasting time.” A few moments of deep silence followed before the ghoul finally demanded, “Screwdriver.” He held out a hand expectantly, gray eyes fixed on his prey. The ancient fridge didn’t look like it was about to rise and jump out the window anytime soon, but it paid to be cautious those days.

They were upstairs HySy in the rarely used kitchen, kneeling in front of the massive house appliance. The floor around them was littered with all sorts of tools. Ken didn’t know half their names, uses, or anything whatsoever about repairing stuff, in general; he was just happy he could finally carry a laden tray around Anteiku without spilling too much coffee or tripping on his own feet.

He passed Renji the requested item, still a little reluctant. “Maybe if we just…you know…oil the hinges?” The youth trusted him, but _borrowing_ Uta’s things felt almost like a sacrilege.

“Been there, done that.” The older male sighed when the sunk-in side screws wouldn’t budge. “A hole needs stuffing - larger screwdriver.”

Ken complied, his cheeks heating up at that particular choice of words. His thoughts flew instantly to  other, less innocent activities. He tried to be subtle as he drank in his lover’s appearance - focused face, broad chest and shoulders, rolled up sleeves which revealed muscular forearms, the competent way he handled the instruments…just like he frequently _handled_ him and Uta. _That_ _’s my bro, a real stunner,_ as Hide would put it with a grin, a blatant wink and a jab to Kaneki’s ribs, always within Renji’s remarkable earshot.

Soothing and arousing, Yomo’s scent made the half-ghoul long to close the small space between them; to run his fingers through the pale, sleep-mussed strands while kissing those full lips until he forgot his own name. He didn’t dare to make a move though. The older male may no longer be an intimidating glacier to him, but he looked so busy right then, Ken couldn’t just bother him on a whim. Fixing a creaking fridge door must have been a big deal, after all, if it involved such determination.

_Renji knows what he_ _’s doing_.

His quiet confidence was rubbing off on the youth, who was glad he could assist with the delicate process and spend more time with the other. Everything was going to be fixed in no time and Uta would be so grateful, he’d probably reward them in some delightfully perverse way.

Kaneki’s faith in Yomo’s abilities remained unshakable, even after the last four screwdrivers (and some small L-shaped things Renji had picked up himself) snapped in the wielder’s grasp. Brittle metal, excessive force? _Who knows?_ They didn’t fit anyway, so no point in fretting over them.

“Wrench.” The older male regarded the tool he’d just been handed as if he didn’t recognize it. “…the other one.”

Ken stared, confused. There wasn’t another wrench around, as far as he could see. The ghoul pointed down to his right, which didn’t exactly solve the mystery. “You mean the…the pliers?”

Renji grunted. A delicious smell filled the kitchen when he yanked the fridge door open. He ignored it, resuming his house appliance surgery as soon as the metal object was pressed into his palm.

Was a wrench meant to be used as a nail, bashed with the wide jaws of the pliers? It looked questionable even to Ken’s untrained eye; but his lover looked like he was enjoying himself, and the action was carried out with such breath-taking elegance, the white-haired couldn’t help but admire Yomo’s skill and creativity. He also took a great deal of indecent pleasure from the way their shoulders _almost_ brushed and the heat radiating from the other.

The pliers weren’t cooperating, apparently, because Renji set them down with a frown. “Red thing.”

That was easier to identify. There was a single object that color, the rectangular object with embedded glass vials. Kaneki passed it along. Not even the older male could name all the tools, but that was perfectly understandable.

_Renji really knows what he_ _’s doing_.

Soon enough the _red thing_ cracked in the ghoul’s hand, but nor before bouncing off the head of the much-abused wrench to shatter the exposed light bulb inside the fridge.

Renji simply shrugged, as if those kind of accidents happened all the time. The alcoholic stench of the yellowish fluid oozing down his fingers didn’t faze him, either. “Ken…hammer,” he ordered.

The youth obeyed. A couple of loud bangs later his awe of Renji’s dedication turned into shock as the fridge door fell off completely.

The ghoul caught it before it could hit the floor. He stared at it for an agonizing moment, then nodded and shoved it back into place, forcing it to stay shut. “Good as new. No more creaking,” he declared proudly.

Kaneki was too horrified to speak. Sure…no door, no creaking; Gordian knot solved.

“Just don’t mention it to Uta, ok?” the silvery-haired added as an afterthought, flashing him a rare smile.

Ken agreed quietly, his heart fluttering. He couldn’t imagine how secrecy was going to improve the situation, or how long it could last with the mask maker’s knack for digging up all sorts of inconvenient truths. All worries flew out of his mind, though, when Renji leaned in to ruffle his white hair and lock their lips together. _He definitely knows what he_ _’s doing._

 

 ————

 

“Raven-chan, Ken-tan…anything to confess?” Uta asked sweetly a few days later, slapping the thick handle of a broken screwdriver against his open palm and sporting a wicked grin. “Anything at all?”

 


	2. Double Act (+Hide)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gaming, memes, coupons + special guest: Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> borderline crack tehee~

Ken had been trying to focus on the plot for the past ten minutes. He really had, but Hide’s voice kept intruding. And truth be told, his best friend’s current crisis was a lot more interesting than Takatsuki’s latest tragedy. He’d lost his appetite for grim stories after all the positive turns his life had taken recently, so he decided to abandon the unread novel on the coffee table in front of him.

“Duuude, no way! What do you mean you _sold_ it?” The living room upstairs HySy felt too small for Hide’s outrage, all of which was currently directed at Uta. “We’ve been struggling for ages to get that armor.”

“Yes,” the mask maker confirmed calmly. He looked more like a modern sphinx than a gamer, sitting cross-legged on a floor cushion before the blond’s laptop. “For fifty gold pieces.”

Hide shot up to his feet. He started pacing around the room, shaking his head dramatically. Ken could easily picture him on a stage, especially since the rpg the two had been playing provided a strangely adequate soundtrack.

“I take my eyes off of you for one moment,” Hide lamented, “one _tiny, tiny_ moment, and you hand our treasure over to the nearest peddler for nothing? WHY?”

“As I’ve already told you, that level of vulgarity offended my artistic sensibilities. And I needed gold for the gamble,” Uta explained, face perfectly blank.

Kaneki burst into laughter. As if there could possibly be anything in the universe too vulgar for the inked ghoul. The youth glanced at Renji, who sat beside him on their new couch (the old one had finally succumbed under the force of their frequent debaucheries). Silent and serene. _Oblivious?_ Cutting out coupons from a local supermarket brochure must have been some form of zen meditation to him.

Hide opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was able to speak again. “That’s not the point. One does not simply _sell_ a legendary quest item for a rip-off bazaar gamble! What do you have to say in your defense?”

Uta tilted his head, eyes widened innocently. “Such armor, much wow?”

The blond groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Now we’re never going to complete the mission. Like…how the heck was it even possible? What bug allowed this madness?”

“Don’t worry, Hideyoshi-kun, it’s just a side quest,” the mask maker assured him. It didn’t work.

“Oh, man, my waifu’s gonna be stuck in that damn dungeon forever.” Hide looked so miserable, Ken almost felt for him. “We must buy it back. Maybe-” He lunged for his laptop to check something; his hope fizzled out after a few desperate clicks. “We’re broke, fuck me!”

 Uta smirked. “You wish.”

“Gross, dude! I’m not cheating on my waifu with a derp like you.” The human winced. “Why am I even wasting my precious time like this, anyway?” Puppy-eyed, he turned towards the occupants of the couch. “Hey, Kaneki…bro…back me up, will you?”

Ken wasn’t much help, doubled over with quiet laughter, belly hurting. Renji had been listening, after all, because he shrugged, unimpressed by Hide’s turmoil or the fact that he’d been called ‘bro’. He put the scissors down, then tenderly arranged his impeccable coupons into a small stack before speaking, “You only liked the armor because it showed off your character’s tits.”

“And ass,” Uta added. “We mustn’t forget _the ass_.”

True. It was the skimpiest thing Kaneki had ever seen - which said a lot, considering Uta’s recent _outfits_. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how a few loose scraps of digital cloth could protect their wearer. Of course, his best friend had been the one to insist on choosing a female character, the dark-haired merely playing along since it was all the same to him.

“That’s…that’s not the point, either,” Hide sighed, sagging down on his cushion like a rag doll.

“Now now, Hideyoshi-kun-”

“Shut up, you sound just like my grandma,” Nagachika pouted at his choice of words - a deliberate attempt to peeve him, no doubt. “You perverse, heartless creature!”

Uta ignored him. He pointed a tattooed, black-tipped finger at the laptop screen. “Look - does _this_ make up for everything?”

“What-” Hide’s apathetic face lit up. “Double-handed sword…unique…increases all resistances by twenty percent…sweet attack bonus! But how?”

“Won it at the gamble.” The mask maker didn’t sound particularly smug. Not exactly.

“Whoa, you’re a genius! Why didn’t you say so earlier?” The blond seemed to have forgotten all about his earlier sorrows.

“You weren’t listening,” Uta replied.

“Haha very funny.” Hide grinned brightly. “For a moment there I thought we were gonners. But this baby…can’t believe it’s even part of the same set as the neat helmet dropped by the witch. Hear that, you two? My waifu’s as good as saved.”

“Yeah, Hide. Way to go,” Ken managed to articulate. Now that the problem was more or less settled-

“Hold it.”

Or maybe not.

“ _Hold it_ ,” Hide repeated ominously. “You…where’s our super-duper helmet?” Uta remained infuriatingly straight-faced. “Noo! You sold that one, too! HOW COULD YOU?”

Ken glimpsed the corners of Renji’s lips twitch with barely suppressed amusement. The Hide-Uta double act was becoming a classic.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year, folks! <3


	3. Need (nsfw, KaneUta)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It seems I’m at your mercy now, Ken-bunny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s porn time!  
> thanks, Youkai, for the idea. hope you like this.

Fingers cease their graceful dance across cloth and pierced lips curve. Uta lifts his head to greet him, red and black eyes lighting up subtly when they meet Ken’s uncovered one.

The half-ghoul can’t look elsewhere, the cool air between them suddenly unbreathable and his own skin too tight to contain all the bright feelings within. What is supposed to be a soft, welcome home kiss, like countless others they’ve shared, turns quickly into something raw and savage. Kaneki moans, hands all over the artist’s body in search for some elusive proof that the tiny space separating their bodies is nothing but an illusion; that their current life together is actually real.

It has to be.

Because the other feels warm and solid, the bare curves of his shoulders the perfect spot for sweaty palms to cling to. Playful and reassuring, Uta’s touches make everything better and worse at once. Ken can only suck on the mask maker’s lips and tongue like a starved beast, mind hazy and ever disobedient cock already threatening to burst out of his pants.

The nearly full day since their last coupling feels like ages, their brief separation unbearable. Kaneki ignores the heat coloring his cheeks, eager to fix that at once. The need is sharp enough to overrule common sense and whatever traces of modesty might hold him back. Besides, he’s too busy to overthink, pressing damp kisses along his lover’s smooth jaw and licking the words inked into his flesh.

“Uta, please, I need - I _want_ to hold you,” the half-ghoul pants against his neck, not quite believing his own ears; or his hand, which has somehow ventured between the other’s legs to fondle him through his cargo pants.

“Look who’s frisky,” the artist purrs, already stiff under his palm. “Renji’s ways are rubbing off on you, hmm?” Probably. Kaneki likes to believe he’s learnt a trick or two from his lovers. “I suppose I could use a good boning.”

The desk is emptier than usual, thankfully. It only takes Ken a second to sweep everything off it and awkwardly coax Uta to lie on top.

“My, how bold.” The ghoul smirks, leaning back on his elbows to drink in his every move. “Don’t you want to play a little game first?”

Like _tease-Ken-out-of-his-mind_?

“No, thanks.” Kaneki urgently unbuckles the other’s belt and yanks his pants off; no underwear, as usual, which saves him the extra trouble of tossing them on the floor among the scattered supplies.

“Hmm…in a hurry, are we?” Uta drawls, amused. “It seems I’m at your mercy now, Ken-bunny. What next?”

The tease spurs him on. Hands shaking with excitement, Kaneki parts those tattooed thighs before bending down to feast on the hard, dripping length in front of him. He starts with the tip, lavishing it with quick flicks of his tongue and slow drags. His taste buds are instantly overcome, perverted senses deeming the flavor utterly delicious. He sucks gently, tongue gliding over each ridge and plump vein. The underside studs receive the due amount of attention, just like the short message wrapped around the shaft.

_Spreading the love._

More like fucking people out of their minds. The half-ghoul traces each and every tiny letter with a smile. He’s learnt to expect anything - especially the delightful, quiet sighs Uta lets out when Ken (or Renji) mouths his balls while pumping him. The slick erection belies its owner’s apparent calm with every impatient throb in Kaneki’s fist. He makes sure to gaze up into the other’s hooded kakugan when he swallows him to the root.

The ghoul gasps, “That’s it.” Inked fingers grip the edge of the desk. His hips, though, remain still, even when the youth keeps working his throat around him; even when he massages his taut sac and slides two fingers into the secret heaven beneath.

Ken grins, mouth full of Uta’s cock. A wave of triumph washes over him since he, too, can make the composed artist groan and throw his head back in pleasure. It excites him terribly, this temporary reversal of roles. Taking charge comes more natural to his lovers, but it seems he’s also able to do it. Given the right mood. And his partner’s cooperation. He fumbles with his fly so that his own member can spring free at last, flushed and more than ready.

Uta cradles his head, musses the white strands. A few trails of saliva escape the corners of Kaneki’s mouth, and the mask maker takes his time to smear them all over the youth’s chin and cheeks in obscene patterns. “Are you jerking off, naughty little bunny?” he rasps seductively.

Caught in the act. The half-ghoul hums around the pierced organ as he twists his digits, knuckle-deep, drawing out more pleasured noises from the other - just what he craves to hear. He doubles his efforts, slurping diligently until his jaws start to ache.

“I’m not…ah…running anywhere,” Uta chuckles, but the sounds come out strained. Ken then focuses lower, on the ever-intriguing fleshy folds, careful to lap up the addictive juices that seep out. “Mmm, nice…but how long can you keep up the teasing?”

Good question.

He raises his eyes, and loses it. The ghoul’s impish smirk, the sight of him splayed on the pale wood...Too bad Renji’s away on an errand.

Kaneki stands, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and lines up. He sinks in with a drawn-out groan. Silken walls envelop him all too invitingly; squeeze him when he pauses, and his vision blurs at the edges.

“How’s that?” Uta breathes out. Framed by a web of dark veins, his sultry gaze never leaves Ken’s face. He cups the youth’s temples and slips his eyepatch off, revealing his single kakugan. “Are you going to pound me now? Give it to me, deep and rough?”

A shiver rolls down Kaneki’s spine, pools low in his groin. “Y-yeah. I’ll do just that,” he chokes out just as his hips snap forth on their own. He starts rocking evenly, but soon he’s all but slamming into his lover, wild and breathless, fingers digging into his thighs.

“Ooh, yes…that’s the spirit,” the mask maker pants, bucking up for more. Ken spares a hand to push his tank top up and expose his torso. He traces muscles and familiar black lines; tweaks and bends to tongue pebbled nipples, before mashing their lips together.

The desk shudders beneath their joined bodies. Lean legs hook around the half-ghoul’s waist, urging him to plunge faster still, and he does just so. He acts on pure instinct, rocking frantically into his partner. Dark nails mark Ken’s shoulders and ass cheeks, clever fingers massage his kakuhou. Sweet, oh so sweet. The sting and caresses build up even more sensual layers to undo him. He growls into their clumsy, aggressive excuse of a kiss.

“Ken, there! F-fuck…”

Uta’s insides clench around him hotly, and Kaneki can’t get enough of him, of the friction and the sheer joy of the act. The ghoul’s shaft rubs wetly between them, and he grabs it, jerks it in tune with his frantic thrusts.

The mask maker scrunches his eyes shut and tenses up with a small cry. Warm fluid splashes between them and all over Ken’s fist. The heady ripples of his body tip the youth over, too. He screams when climax blazes through him, seed gushing to flood his lover.

Shaking all over, he collapses on top of Uta, still buried inside him. The artist welcomes him in his arms and kisses his sweaty forehead while their hearts slowly settle into a more reasonable rhythm.

Vaguely, then with growing unease, Kaneki remembers at some point, “I think we forgot to lock the shop door.”

Uta laughs and holds him closer, showing no intention of letting go anytime soon.


	4. Donut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The pride and joy of our ward.”

The small group stormed out of HySy, nearly knocking Ken down. Curses turned into stammered apologies, eyes widened absurdly at the sight of him. The customers bowed quickly before scampering like roaches, determined to put as much distance as possible between themselves, the studio…and _him_ , apparently. Four large guys fleeing from him in terror - that was new. He watched them vanish around the corner, perplexed.

_Ghouls_.

Unwashed, heavily perfumed ghouls. Even Kaneki couldn’t miss the nauseating tang that no amount of synthetic fragrance could conceal, or at least make more bearable. He stepped into the shop warily but relaxed the moment he saw his lovers - Uta perched on his usual stool at his desk; Renji next to him, leaning casually against the solid piece of furniture, arms folded over his wide chest.

“Welcome home, Ken-tan,” chirped the mask maker. “Please leave the door _wide_ open, the fans are already at their limit - thank you.”

“Are you two ok?” the youth asked, brows furrowed in worry. They looked fine, amused even, but the irrational need to make sure was still there.

“Safe and sound.” Uta patted the empty stool beside him, Kaneki’s regular seat, and the white-haired joined them.

“Who were those guys?”

“The pride and joy of our ward - the _leader_ and his men.”

“Greasy hobos,” Renji muttered.

“Actually I heard he has a really snug penthouse. Unlike you, Raven-chan, who used to live in a shipping container,” Uta supplied. The other ghoul snorted. Ken was also skeptical. If anything, the visitors had looked like a bunch of terrified homeless people. “But they do have a long standing feud with water and soap, for some reason.”

Quite the understatement. The half-ghoul wrinkled his nose at the nauseating mixture lingering in the shop - stale sweat and strong perfume. “So what happened?”

“Donut-kun’s not much for social calls, so I suppose he was here to complain. Or try to.” The artist shrugged. “He kept babbling about permissions and whatnot.”

Kaneki’s stomach clenched. “Complain? Did it have anything to do with the three of us moving here together?” He’d been so elated about it, he’d never truly stopped to consider the consequences.

“Who cares?” Renji scoffed. “They’re small fry.”

The youth shifted his eyes down to his lap. “I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

Uta put an end to his worries with a kiss on his cheek and an arm around his shoulders. “Don’t you worry, bunny. What we’re doing is nobody else’s business.” The youth smiled and leaned closer, a weight lifting off his chest. “You saw for yourself that our leader didn’t have the balls to walk in here without a few goons to prompt him and hold his hand. Not that they were much help. It was very amusing, actually, to see them squirm and almost wet themselves. Such a shame they left in a hurry…”

Yomo chuckled. “Only because you brought _that_ up.”

“That?”

“Just sweet nothings from the good ol’ teenage days. We’ve got a precious bunny to protect and a grim reputation to maintain,” the mask maker explained, nuzzling Ken’s hair. “Our cozy chat must’ve jogged Donut-kun’s memory about his tendency to put his foot in his mouth, quite literally. Maybe he wanted a repeat to impress the ladies with his skill…I wonder how he ended up in charge.” 

“Same story. Nobody else volunteered,” the tall ghoul said.

“Ah. The curse of the fourth ward.”

Subtle ward affairs and his lovers’ pasts remained mostly uncharted territory to Ken,  tantalizing like a book out of his reach. He wouldn’t pry, though. Sometimes ignorance was bliss. It seemed Uta still held considerable power, which suited them just fine. He cleared his throat. “They were afraid of me, too.”

“Good,” the inked artist grinned. “Then it was worth mentioning that nobody messes with kakuja Eyepatch and lives to tell the tale.”

“W-what??”

“Mhm. Just to make things clear from the start. That, plus your association with us, should guarantee your safety around here.”

“I…I’m not…I can’t eat anyone!” Ken sputtered. Him, a fearsome kakuja? _Him_ , who could narrowly dodge Touka’s kicks, even with all the training, and was just about as threatening as Shooting-Star Wing? What was the world coming to?

“Of course not. And that’s perfectly fine,” Uta murmured while rubbing soothing circles into his back; Yomo grunted in approval and patted Kaneki’s head affectionately. “There’s no need to bother with the likes of Donut-kun when you’ve got _this - right_ \- _here._ ” Dark-haired stood and slapped his own bottom a few times as he went to lock the shop.

The youth snapped out of his shock. Warm sparks flew through him and lit a blaze within, as if he were made of straws.

“You think too highly of yourself,” Renji mumbled. His lips curved slightly.

Uta returned, hands on his hips. “Oh? Does this mean Mr. Macho’s skipping _desert_?”

“Never,” the other ghoul declared with an anything but innocent smile. “But I know something even better.” He picked Ken up in his arms, guiding the youth’s legs around his waist.

Kaneki clung to him in surprise, face beet-red and pulse speeding up thanks to the way Renji was kneading his ass and gazing into his visible eye. He let the older male’s ginger and toasted almonds scent permeate his pores, wash away the last traces of the earlier stench. It added to the electrifying thrill of anticipation, urging him to press their lips together.

A faint gasp escaped the half-ghoul when another pair of hands followed the lines of his thighs. He felt Uta kiss his neck and jaw and heard him whisper in his ear, “Should we go upstairs and finish that painting? Make a little contest while we’re at it?”

Oh, yes.

They were still debating on the title of the painting. Maybe Yomo’s suggestion wasn’t so bad, after all. Impure and simple, _“_ Renji and Uta banging”. Kaneki hummed and managed to nod without separating their mouths.

He couldn’t find a safer place than by their side.

 

 


	5. Art (nsfw; +Hide)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> porn, talk of porn, and Hide fuming on the phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ingredients: ridiculous phone conversation, threesome, anal fingering, anal sex, masturbation, male self-lubrication, mild orgasm delay/denial, come eating 
> 
> the yomokane is for you, darling kenyakaneki :D  
> and the wacky stuff is for le awesome penguins_shake_it

The ringing went on and on.

Ken disentangled himself from his lovers’ embrace, limb by heavy limb, and managed to lean unsteadily over the edge. Sheets peeled off of his bare form as he fished the noisy phone out of the clothes heaped on the floor. He silenced it quickly; considered switching it off, as he should have done earlier. The screen displayed a grinning picture of Hide, though, so he pressed the green button and brought the device close to his ear. Too close.

_“KANEKI!”_

He winced; felt stirring behind him, heard a grumpy groan. The peek over his shoulder revealed a silvery head burrowing deeper into the pillows and a pair of hazy, scarlet half-moons. So much for not disturbing his lovers' nap.

_“Put Loser number two on!_ ”

Loser…“Who?” Ken mumbled.

_“Uta. Right now!_ ”

As he was fumbling for an incoherent excuse, warm fingers skimmed down his back and circled his kakuhou area. Soft lips grazed his nape, a hint of tongue and cool metal ghosted along his left shoulder. His thoughts scattered like marbles.

_“Come on, dude.”_

Palms molded over his ass cheeks, massaging the tender flesh. Something stiff and wet glided between his thighs to grind against his balls and hardening shaft. Ken shivered, eyes drifting shut, high-pitched noises threatening to give away the erotic treatment he was enjoying.

_“I know he’s there.”_

“Mmm…but I’m busy,” Uta hummed. His fingers located Kaneki’s come-slick entrance, dipped their tips in. The youth pushed back, stifling a whine when he received more than he’d hoped for.

_“Hurry up, it’s very important.”_

Everything was, by the blond’s standards. “Hide, can’t you w-wait…ah!” Teeth had just marked one of his buttocks.

_“Oh my god, can you guys STOP humping for five minutes? I’m talking here!”_

More like babbling and being way too sharp for his own good. But at least Hide couldn’t see him rock shamelessly against probing digits and playful nips. Cheeks aflame, the half-ghoul was about to end the call and spare everyone any further embarrassment, when the phone was plucked out of his hand.

“Can _you_ stop talking for five minutes?” the mask maker countered. “We’re humping here.”

_“UTA!”_

“You’re awfully persistent today, Hideyoshi-kun,” the artist drawled. He grabbed Ken and rolled on his other side to face a suspicious Renji, pulling the youth back in the middle.

Arms locked around Kaneki, a firm chest pressed flush to his back. Hands splayed, searching, branding their sublime heat into his every cell; turning his head so he could meet a pair of full lips. He smiled, his own digits weaving through ashen strands as his tongue twined with Renji’s.

“ _Finally! Man, what the actual fuck_!” Hide intruded again from the other end. _“You promised me wicked stuff, awesome chicks - and gave me a documentary on baby chicken hatching??_ ”

“Ah. The miracle of life.” Uta paused to tweak one of Ken’s nipples. “You were thirsting for quality. It doesn’t get better than that-”

_“I meant fapping material!”_

“Good boys don’t ‘fap’, Hideyoshi-kun.”

_“You’re a fine one to talk, wanker. Sheesh. What about those girls with weird hair? You know, the ones chasing red-mask-freak and raccoon-eyes with a herd of goats? And the camera guy cursing…”_

“That was ‘Goats Gone Wild’. Onigiri Chateau’s film fest entry. Quite promising, a shame they didn’t win anything.”

_“Goats in the woods, dude? Baby chicken and goats? If I’d wanted Old MacDonald’s farm, I would’ve said so._ ”

“Who’s Old MacDonald?” 

_“Aaargh! Did you grow up in the gutter?”_

“…yes.” An inked hand snaked up Ken’s thigh, while Renji’s palm was smoothing over his scarred belly.

Hide went silent on the other end. Shocked or just catching his breath? Kaneki couldn’t muster enough concern at that point. Because Renji was done toying with his navel loop (one of Uta’s lip rings), pumping him slowly instead.

Yomo released his mouth and focused on kissing his neck and shoulders. His cock - flushed and drenched with intoxicating ghoul juices which still lingered on Ken’s taste buds - found its way between the buttocks he’d been kneading until then.

The half-ghoul could feel every plump vein and slippery ridge rub against his entrance. He ached to feel them work his insides, a breathless ‘I’m ready’ all he could form as he squirmed pleadingly.

“Ken, easy…” Renji panted as his plump tip breached the youth smoothly. He inched deeper and deeper, the tiny studs tingling their way into Kaneki’s core. “Still so…so fucking tight even after - ngh!”

The younger male could hardly stay still. He relished the familiar fullness, the sweet invasion he was constantly craving; the way Uta was drinking in their every gesture and expression; his sultry gaze and small, filthy smile which stoked the lust consuming Ken…

He tried to rein in his impatience, but gave up soon and started moving - impaling himself thoroughly on Renji’s shaft, thrusting into his fist. The tall ghoul slipped an arm under Kaneki’s head as he sank in to the hilt, pulled out and repeated.

_“…weird ass footage with the hunched creep running after that tall dove guy and calling him ‘little boy’? And those geezers spanking each other…”_ Hide was back to ranting, apparently.

“Yes. That was extremely rare stuff, CCG’s unofficial entry to the same fest. ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’”, Uta explained.

_“Ugh! Which is which? Didn’t I say no gay?! Forget about rubbing one out, I’m in for some nasty nightmares now.”_

“Aww. Too bad.” The artist didn’t sound sympathetic in the least, though. He grinned at Ken and slid closer. Tattooed fingers replaced Renji’s, wrapped around both Uta and Kaneki’s shafts, stroking them together exquisitely. “Anyway,” the mask maker went on, “Mado-chi, tall-dark-and-handsome and Washuu-pon aren’t that gay.”

“Shut up already,” Renji complained.

“But Hideyoshi-kun was just thanking me-”  

_“Thanking my ass! You-”_

Uta pressed the device against the pillow. His other hand continued its delicious motions upon their joined members. “You like this a lot, don’t you, bunny?” he murmured, glowing kakugan trained on Kaneki’s face.

The youth nodded. Surreal and obscene, the whole situation also felt ridiculously arousing.

“Oh, my. I wonder what he’d say if he knew.” Uta rolled his hips in sync with Renji’s increasingly rougher thrusts. “Should I tell him what you’re up to - what a sweet fucking mess you are when Raven-chan’s pounding your brains out?”

“Uta,” the other ghoul warned, never ceasing his rhythm.

Ken shook his head. The mask maker smirked and leaned to swallow his moans.

 “…the fuck…did you do…this time?”  Renji's gasps tumbled hotly upon Kaneki’s damp hair.

“I just lent our friend a few educational movies,” Uta said, his tone impossibly casual. He lifted the phone back to his ear. “Pure art.” 

Hide had a different opinion, _“Art?! You call that mannequin shit art?”_

“Mhm. It’s my favorite. I like the…possibilities.” Uta’s thumb painted moist circles over the youth’s tip, while his studs drew throbbing lines along the Ken’s shaft. “Did you watch it all, sunshine?”

Kaneki closed his eyes, trembling and barely able to contain his whimpers.

_“Of course not, derp. It was like watching paint dry, except with ugly chunks of plastic lying around.”_

“Well, the plot was entirely up to your imagination,”  the artist continued the conversation, for some perverse reason. “But I suppose an amateur can’t understand such subtleties.”

_“Amateur or not, your mannequin porn’s messed up._ ”

“I thought ghoul porn was too extreme a sunflower like you who’s too good and pure for this world. But if you insist…how about it, Ken-tan?”

The mention of his own name snapped him out of his euphoria, if only for a moment. He stared at Uta, dazed.

“Wanna star in a porn - become everyone’s wet dream?”

Kaneki giggled weakly, his mind a comfortable blank. Every breath, every touch and jab at his sweetest spots carried him closer to his peak. “I-I’ll…uh…no. Nn-!”

Renji’s palm covered his mouth like a makeshift mask. “Shh…he’ll hear.”

The hoarse whisper in his ear only spurred Ken on. Let Hide and the entire ward hear him, as long as the two ghouls kept flooding him with this otherworldly bliss.

His tongue wriggled between the older male’s fingers, coaxing a few past his lips. He tasted the saltiness of sweat and the smack of his own arousal, thanks to Yomo’s earlier ministrations.

“Heard that, Hideyoshi-kun? You’re out of luck.”

_“Why on earth would I wanna see porn with my bff?”_

“Hmm…I guess our tastes don’t match, after all.” Uta squeezed the base of Ken’s member. He licked the shell of his ear, cooing, “Not yet.”

The youth groaned, toes curling. Trapped between his lovers. On the brink, but denied release. He was all but writhing on Renji’s cock.

_“Yomo, bro! Say something! My sanity-”_

Uta wisely held the phone away, once again. “He’s…currently unavailable,” he purred a moment later when the line was quiet.

_“Huh? Is that creaking…? What the- no, wait. I don’t wanna know. I bet it’s more gross stuff.”_

“At least we’re getting some. Unlike you. What do they say about sour grapes?” The device had another brief encounter with the pillow case, since Hide was making more inhuman noises. The artist kissed and sucked his way between Yomo’s digits. His pierced tongue slid into Ken’s mouth, leaving its heady flavor behind.

The half-ghoul clung to Uta’s shoulders and threw a leg over his hip, riding the enhanced sensations. Filled, cherished. Teased.

The mask maker spoke again into the handset, “I do remember offering that…little video with me and Renji-kun. And the one with him and Itori-san at the bar-”

“What?” Renji growled. His mid-thrust pause increased Ken’s frustration. “I destroyed the last copy myself!”

“And I made some more for safe keeping. The world needs to see your…pretty ass in action.”

“Uta!”

The artist merely leered at Renji, stuck out his tongue and goaded, “Come on, boys, show me what you’ve got.”

Ken was close to begging, the pressure in his groin reaching unbearable levels. The hold on his swollen shaft suddenly went slack. The jerking, the wild thrusts resumed…and then blood was roaring in his ears and climax raging through him. Pearly drops spurted across dark patterns, his cry muffled again by Renji.

Drained, twitching, boneless in Yomo’s grasp and stretched wide around him, Kaneki vaguely registered that Hide was still talking. He burst into laughter.

_“…wish I’d taken you up on that offer._ _Itori_ _’s hot, and as much as I don’t wanna see you or my bro in the buff, it couldn’t have been worse than the geezer-on-geezer action. Or that mannequin shit. That’s it, you’re officially Loser number two.”_

“Ah…”  Uta froze, mouth slightly open and features slack. His cock throbbed against the half-ghoul’s. His final few ropes of come gushed out on Ken’s heaving chest. “…who’s…number one?”

_“That Anteiku parrot._ ”

The mask maker chuckled. He licked his hand clean with feline flicks, before scooping the rest of their fluids to feed Renji, too. “Mmm. I’m flattered. Bye now, Hideyoshi-kun. Please keep the DVDs, since you enjoyed them ooh sooo much.”

_“No, wait-_ ”

The line went dead. The phone flew back on the pile of garments by the bed, finally switched off.

Yomo sucked furiously on filigree-adorned digits. He held Ken closer and pulsed inside him with a low grunt, coating his inner walls for the third time that evening.

“You’ve…hah…got some serious explaining to do,” the silvery-haired panted.

“Oh, yes…won’t you two help me repent?” Uta purred and shifted on his belly to wiggle his ass.

It was Renji’s turn to laugh.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old MacDonald had a farm  
> E-I-E-I-O~


	6. Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Such distrust.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drops mini-mini-mini fic*  
> *hops back on Uchuuyama’s ufo*

“No.”

“But…”

“No!”

“Come on, Renji-kun, just a sip.”

“No way!”

“I’ve poured my heart and soul into it.”

“So your heart and soul look like dishwater?”

“Oh…where’s your sense of adventure?”

Yomo crossed his arms. “That’s downright poison.”

Uta ignored him. “What about you, Ken-tan?”

Him? Kaneki couldn’t tear his gaze away from the frothy brew before him. A dictionary’s worth of adjectives flooded his mind. Renji’s description fit, although it verged on understatement. The half-ghoul would’ve added that dishwater didn’t usually steam, nor did it look so ominous. Even the mellow afternoon light filling their kitchen couldn’t do much about that.

“Don’t be shy…I’ve made an entire pot,” the mask maker sang.

 One look into Uta’s wide eyes convinced Kaneki to keep those thoughts to himself.

Another look convinced him that a drop couldn’t do that much damage. Probably. Slowly, reluctantly, he reached for the-

“Ken, don’t!”

Kaneki’s fingers froze around the striped handle.

“You first, Uta,” Renji added.

The artist sighed, “Such distrust.”

Yomo glared.

“Maybe we should…just…” Kaneki winced when pierced lips met the rim of the mug.

Crimson irises fixed on Yomo’s grey ones, Uta took a considerable gulp. He held it in his mouth for a thoughtful while. Swallowed. Snatched the salt jar from the counter behind him, stirred half a teaspoon into his latest culinary experiment, and downed the scalding liquid in one go.

“Waiting for me to drop dead, hmm?”

Renji stopped staring so he could shake his head in horrified disbelief.

Uta focused on Ken once more. “See? Perfectly safe.”

The half-ghoul shrugged apologetically. “That’s what you said about the rooftop chase, too.” And the ensuing _activities_.

The mask maker offered him a filthy smirk. “Did I?”

Kaneki smiled nervously at the squiggles the three of them had painted on the cups - because it was fun, good for bonding, their inked lover had insisted. It probably had more to do with annoying Renji, whose artistic abilities were on par with Loser’s.

He lifted his cup, under Uta’s expectant gaze, and sniffed at the dubious substance. At least it didn’t smell as disturbing as it looked. The tip of his tongue made contact with the hot surface, deemed it more edible than the coffee the mask maker tended to brew.

“It’s…nice, actually,” Ken declared a few mouthfuls later. Sweet and nourishing, with an edge he couldn’t quite define. “Like a soup. But…” He also added a pinch of salt before ingesting some more. “It does taste better with some salt.”

Uta nodded regally before facing Renji again, “Your turn.”

“I’m not drinking _that_. We should ban you from the kitchen.”

Another staring contest ensued.

“I even went through all the trouble of digging up the hideous, ancient mug you lifted from that shop,” Uta murmured.

“I paid for it in coupons!”

“Let me guess - the cashier accepted only because he was terrified of your scowl.”

Renji glared at him.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” the mask maker said. “Anyway, I used some very, very special ingredients.”

“What ingredients?”

Uta smirked. “You’ll just have to see for yourself.”

The other ghoul made no move to find out.

“Would I be feeding our grumpy Raven anything but the very best?” The artist raised a tiny eyebrow.

A recent memory popped into Ken’s head - Renji kneeling in front of Uta, sucking and slurping worshipfully.

Yomo remembered it too, since he gave in after that final argument and raised his chipped mug. He examined its unidentified contents one last time, then sipped and swallowed cautiously. He set the cup down with a frown. “What did I just drink?”

Uta leaned into his personal space, as if preparing to share the greatest secret. “A small thanks for taking the time to reorganize my craft supplies.” Closer, tone low and seductive. “You know, trying to find anything is oh so thrilling these days.” Closer still **,** sliding into Yomo’s lap.

Suspicion melted into serenity as soon as tattooed hips started grinding down against Renji and deft fingers slithered through his silvery locks. He traced the other’s waist, circled his bottom through his tight yoga pants.

Ken ogled those flexing ass cheeks, hoping his lovers would take things much further.

“An exclusive, mineral-rich blend for you, my dear uncle Ren-Ren…” The mask maker paused to nuzzle Renji’s neck and lick the shell of his ear. “Water…”

“Water?” Eyes closed, the tall ghoul was almost purring under Uta’s combined attentions. He placed small kisses along the artist’s throat while his palms busied themselves with the other male’s thighs.

And when the mug was pressed to his lips, he drank obediently.

“Mhmm,” Uta approved, so quietly Ken could barely hear him anymore.  “Water I cleaned the shop floor with.”

Yomo stilled.

His lids flew open and he stared at the ghoul in his arms for one long, shocked moment. He pushed him off, dashing towards the bathroom.

Uta landed on his bare feet, smug like a giant feline, Renji’s cup still in his hand.

Kaneki gasped, nearly slipping off his own chair. “U-Uta?”

The artist finished the drink, winking at Ken’s panicked expression. “Just kidding,” he called after Yomo with an impish grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then Hirako crawls out from under the table and hands his resignation letter.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and for your wonderful support ^_^


End file.
